We will face it together Pa!

I got so emotional this past two days; it’s all started when mom told us about my father’s health condition. At first upon hearing my mom my heart breaks up and I really feel guilty, why? Because I never win or convince my father to stop smoking, being in the health profession I used to give health teaching to the community about the effects of cigarette to our body but I never did it to my own father. We used not to talk to our father openly though we had some small conversation every day. We are part to be blamed I think. All I feel now is pity for my father, how I wish I can do something for him. I really loved and respect him. My heart was only at peace knowing that it can be cured with proper compliance to medication. I can also feel my father’s feeling now; maybe he is still in the denial stage. I don’t know if he is crying but I saw him wiping his two eyes with towel on the day he was diagnosed. It is not easy for him to accept though this is expected. My heart was crushing hearing him saying to my daughter that ‘Lolo has a cough and must stay away from you baby’. As much as possible we would not let him feel that he is sick, treating him the same as usual way. I think what I can do now is to help my father to be more compliance to his medication and give him moral support for I know the feeling to be rejected or avoided by others. 

The doctor advised him to have a complete blood test to know if there is still underlying infections. Surprisingly we found out that his blood sugar is elevated also beyond the normal range. This caused us so much worry especially my two sisters are soon leaving abroad for work. Only mom, dad and our youngest brother will be left but I still have a month living here before we will evacuate to our own house. While writing this post I can’t hold my tears from falling down, I just don’t know I became so emotional this week. I am so worried for many things. Lord please ease our hearts and reminds us always that You are in control of everything. Amen.

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